My first official blog post, how exciting! Although, I wish it was to talk about something different. Maybe delicious desserts, places to travel, secrets to losing weight, or why I always end up with random socks with no matches in the laundry room. Perhaps we’ll save some of those for another day. Let’s get through the hard stuff first.

I woke on Friday, May 6, 2022. My kids were out of school that day, so my husband and I were able to sleep in a little longer since we were excused from the normal before-school routine that starts prior to the sun coming up. I remember opening my eyes and seeing the light coming in around the shutters, thankful for the extra hour or so of sleep we were able to enjoy. I rolled on my back to stretch and noticed a strange sensation in my legs. I still have a difficult time explaining it even today. It was a weird mix of pins and needles, but also like heat radiating from my skin. I reached for my feet. My fingers felt my toes, but my toes didn’t feel my fingers. I ran my hands up my legs to my knees and then my hips and stomach. It was then that I realized I was completely numb from my waist down.

I remember thinking, maybe I slept in a weird position and my legs fell asleep. I honestly thought, maybe once I get up things will “wake up.” Getting out of bed was interesting. I couldn’t feel my feet when they reached the floor. Ever see the Disney/Pixar movie Luca? Remember when Luca ventures out of the ocean and has to learn to walk on human legs? I think back on this day and imagine that is what I looked like trying to get to the bathroom. I’m being a little dramatic, but it definitely felt like this on that first morning.

It was Mother’s Day weekend, and our schedule was full, so I decided to keep it to myself and carried on as usual, pretending everything was ok. I had taken the day off from work on Friday to prep for the weekend, so I spent the day cooking and cleaning. I still remember how absolutely exhausted I was that evening, but I brushed it off. Who isn’t tired after being on their feet all day? We hosted a game night on Saturday and a Mother’s Day lunch on Sunday. I spent the weekend hoping the numbness in my legs would go away, and never told anyone about it. By Sunday night, I ached all over my body. My head hurt and I felt more exhausted than I could remember in quite some time. Now, let me be honest with you. I am not a sitter. I’m not a napper. My “down” time is spent being busy and doing things like cleaning, organizing, gardening, etc. Weird, I know, but I’m just not built for leisurely activities like reading books and doing crossword puzzles. I love staying busy. I literally am on ‘go’ from the time my feet hit the floor in the morning until I go to bed at night. It’s just who I am, and I get it honestly. My mom is the same way, as is much of her family. My grandmother used to describe it as ‘a worm in hot ashes’. I share this because I know what it feels like to be exhausted from working hard. I love it. It’s exhaustion that comes with accomplishing something, and that feels good to me. But on this particular Sunday, after a weekend of activities and struggling to get one foot in front of the other, something was off. I knew I would need to address it, if it continued, but it honestly never crossed my mind that something serious would be wrong.

By Monday, there was no change. The numbness remained, so I called my doctor and scheduled an appointment for the next day. I also knew it was time to tell my husband what was going on. He was working from home that day, so I went into our shared office and told him about the numbness from the weekend. He didn’t know that a few months before, I lost feeling in my back for a few weeks, and I had not told him that until now. I tried to act like I wasn’t concerned to keep him from worrying (Lord knows, I do enough of that for us both), but I was starting to get scared.